What Does It Mean To “Be a Man”

Video Asks Males Aged 5 to 50 to Explain What It Means to Be a Man

50 men were asked in a video to give a word or phrase that describes what they think of when told to “be a man”. The answers where shocking in that although there were some similarities, there were many contradictions and a vast range of answers having nothing to do with each other. The other reason these answers were shocking is that many of these men viewed the phrase as either an insult or a common occurrence, there was no in between. Many young boys referred to it as something they are told when they are being a “wuss” and need to be suck it up and be more manly in certain situations. But what exactly does it mean to be “manly”? Many said being manly meant being strong, courageous, tough while words such as sensitive, caring, and kind were not mentioned. Those who thought the phrase “be a man” to be an insult mentioned that it is a sexist idea that men can only behave and present themselves in such a manner that falls under the category of “manly”; perhaps if more men saw this to be sexist, young boys wouldn’t grow up in a culture where they feel pressured to fit into this concept of masculinity.

Katey Padden

The Mask You Live In

The Mask You Live In – Trailer

The Hook Up Culture, Hypermasculinity, and the Call for Redefinition

The Mask You Live In is a documentary that explores American Masculinity. This documentary addresses how society shapes the concept of masculinity and stresses the need for boys to “man up”. This concept of masculinity gives boys the idea that they are unable to express emotion unless it is anger or indifference. The documentary introduces the idea that men put on a mask to fit in with masculine culture and those around them but often forget to take this mask off or have difficulty doing so.

This documentary also addresses the concept of hookup culture and how it is predominantly an issue regarding masculinity. In modern society masculinity is often measured among younger males, specifically those in their twenties, by how many casual sexual encounters one has with various women. Men are praised and encouraged to have impersonal hookups while women are shamed for doing so. The problem becomes that men are caught in-between this double ended sword when it comes to women. Men who are indifferent and forward towards women are considered masculine but are also viewed as disrespectful in the eyes of women yet those who talk about their feelings and emotions are viewed as weak and unattractive to women. Men are constantly receiving contradicting demands in terms of how they should act/ portray themselves which is why masculine culture is considered to be harmful.

Katey Padden

This is what Masculinity Really Means to Men

This is what masculinity really means to men

Masculinity means different things to different people. Most men think they have to manly and have to be the bread winners for their family. Women also have a different outlook on masculinity. I think what it means is to be strong and to take care of your family. I dont think that the man should be in charge of everything for the family. I think that the man and the women in the family should be equals, both work, both cook, both bring the kids places, and both clean the house. Being a man is not about always being manly and making the most money but its about being yourself and being the man you want to be.

Maddy McClure

What Happens when You Act too Manly at Work

In the work place they say that theres no discrimination against men and women. But that is completely wrong. At one law firm a man asked for a few days off for the birth of his son and the head of the law firm replied back to him that he had three kids and does not know any of their birthdays. I find that terrible because a women has to take months off when they have a baby and the man should not be discriminated against just because he is not that one that actually giving birth. Also there was another story of a man that got yelled at by his boss because he did not answer an email on his wedding day. Being to manly in the work places only causes you to be only about what and not focus on anything else important in life.

Maddy McClure

Disney Store Is No Longer Identifying Halloween Costumes By Gender

In modern society, gender roles are being broken down to meet on neutral ground. Disney has taken charge by titling the costumes “for baby” and “for kids”. There hope is to have a child, boy or girl, choose what costume they feel most comfortable wearing, without the title of gender to worry about. Comments on the post felt “it would be a lot more meaningful if a girl were in the Buzz costume and a boy in one of the Princess costumes”. Others deemed it as unnecessary and felt it is “just going to make it harder” as a parent, to look for the costume online. Has Disney made the correct choice by making the costumes for everyone, no matter the gender?

-Tyler R

What It Means To ‘Be A Man’ In Today’s World

What does it mean to “Be a Man“? Almost every guy in the world has heard the words “man up”. To society, this means exhibiting very little emotion, crying especially, is out of the question. Gender roles, are a set of guidelines society has imposed upon men and women as a result of culture and history. There’s a pervading sense of powerlessness among men, and it’s a consequence of them being unable to express themselves. Boys are twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, more likely to act out in class, and 30% more likely to drop out of school.  If this is what it costs to “be a man”, it’s too much.

-Tyler R

Old-Spice Momsong Commercial

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/06/showbiz/old-spice-momsong-commercial/index.html

The old-spice commercial from January, 2014 aired on live television and got lots of buzz from the viewers. The commercial claims that In order for a boy to become a man then they must use their body spray. When they use the s[ray the mom is heat broken and sings a song about her little boy. After they spray the old-spice body spray they go hang out with their girlfriend. This is indicating that to be a man a boy must spray their body spray and have a girlfriend, which can be misleading.

Vinny C

Manhood, Football and Suicide

http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/03/opinion/powell-football-manhood-suicide/index.html

In December of 2012, the Kansas City Chiefs (NFL team) 25-year old defensive player Jovan Belcher shot and killed his girlfriend and then drove to the Chiefs practice center and shot and killed himself in front of his head coach and general manager. The news was stunning and the question that was left behind was why he did this? It is believed that the current definition of “being a man” in todays day and age was overwhelming for Jovan. The fact that being a man today means that you can’t cry, or fail, or show any emotion must have took a toll on Jovan until he snapped.

-Vinny C

Bro Code in Action: Stranger Alerts Man to Cheating Significant Other at Football Game

Bro Code put into action

If you thought someone was cheating on their partner, but didn’t know them personally, would you tell them? To one man, it was a matter of the bro code. He felt it was his moral obligation to tell a complete stranger what his girlfriend had been texting during a football game. She had been messaging a man named “Jason”, and the football fan behind her happened to notice references to meeting up with Jason once she was done with “him” (her boyfriend sitting right next to her). The man wrote a note to and asked him to read it privately once he got home. The note implied to read her texts from Jason and he wished all the best of luck. Was this a matter of the bro code? Or just a simple bystander intervention?

-Tyler R

Twitter Movement Takes on Masculinity

The Reaction To Twitter Movement About Masculinity Is Exactly Why It’s So Important

Twitter is known for starting debates and controversy with its hashtags. A recent hashtag was created to attack the concept of masculinity in the modern world. The hashtag #MasculinitySoFragile started trending on September 23rd when users started pitching in their opinions about how society views masculinity. People were bringing up various issues such as the need to have “feminine” and “masculine” versions of products. Razorblades, lip balm, shampoo and other items all do the same job and do not need to be distinguished for each gender yet society feels the need to separate the two. Another point brought up is the overuse of the phrase “no homo” by men who are showing affection towards each other. Men should be able to feel comfortable hugging other men or showing other men they care about them without having to say “no homo” beforehand. Women are very affectionate towards each other openly and there is no gay stigma. Men shouldn’t have to be so afraid of stepping out of their masculine role or behaving even the slightest bit “feminine”. When a man dresses a certain way or dyes his hair he is assumed to be gay, yet aren’t men entitled to expressing themselves just as much as women are? If a woman dresses in masculine clothing such as button up shirts or baggy athletic gear it is considered acceptable but when a man dresses even the slightest bit feminine he is assumed to be gay and/or he is ridiculed for it.

Some felt that the hashtag was meant to attack men and was demeaning while others argued that the hashtag was meant to explain “how to be a man”. Many joined this twitter movement for the sole purpose of highlighting the ridiculous expectations and standards put onto men as well as how this concept of “masculinity” can be harmful. People are clearly aware of this issue of masculinity and gender roles in general considering the responses posted on twitter, yet somehow there has been no movement toward change. It seems as though people push a topic like this from their thoughts, they are stuck in the past, or they accept society as the way it is due to growing up among gender roles. This hashtag is a perfect example of how twitter can be useful in spreading information on controversial issues and how it allows people to see how those around them view a certain topic the same or differently than they do. When people see that they disagree with a friend on a topic it sparks conversation. Even when two people share a same opinion it starts conversation which takes the hashtag from twitter into the real world keeping the debate alive and spreading awareness.This hashtag spread awareness that gender inequality and gender roles don’t only involve women and that this issue is very much so involving both genders.

Katey Padden